College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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