She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
