I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
tell me about the fingering
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
