So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
