i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
