dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
