As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
NoShamevember. You game?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
