Only a mothe r could love this liver
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
