Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
