I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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