I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize