Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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