never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
