my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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