At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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