Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
