best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
