Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
