I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
