either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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