After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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