I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize