i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
