whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
