doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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