remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
this just has baby written all over it
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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