I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think people are normalizing furries
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
