Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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