living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
