I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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