Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize