You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
