He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize