We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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