problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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