I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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