i think i have two assholes
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
