bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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