Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
