I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I need a beard to bite.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
