i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
