Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
