Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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