I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize