haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
