She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
