Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
