I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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