You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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