nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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