From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
