Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
