Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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