tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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