ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
