I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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