No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
