You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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