hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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