Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
