I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
