somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
