You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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