Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
