I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize