vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
