Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
it's like heaven, but drunker
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
