I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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