Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
