On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
