I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
