Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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