Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
do nipples grow back?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
