I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
