I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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