Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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