my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
