Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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