just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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