there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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