look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
