do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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