spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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