Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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