Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
